适合发朋友圈的幽默句子 搞笑逗趣（选一句更新你的动态）
快过年了，商场里你们最想打折的是什么？”“女朋友的腿。”
It"s almost new year"s day. What"s the discount you want most in the shopping mall? "“ My girlfriend"s leg. "
日子很狗，但我不敢骂他，我怕他会疯狂咬我。
The day is very dog, but I dare not scold him, I am afraid he will bite me crazily.
生活不止眼前的苟且，还有未来的苟且，所以习惯了。
Life is not only the present, but also the future, so I"m used to it.
真的不是我吹，不瞒你们说，以我现在的成绩和我家的经济发展趋势，以后我家这片的街道都归我扫。
It"s really not me. To tell you the truth, with my current achievements and my family"s economic development trend, I will sweep the streets of my family in the future.
别人一夸我 我就显得局促不安，因为我总觉得他们夸得还不够。
I feel embarrassed when others praise me, because I always think they don"t praise me enough.
不是我冷漠无情，只能中午和你聊天，是因为我怕你早晚会爱上我。
It"s not that I can only chat with you at noon because I"m afraid you will fall in love with me sooner or later.
终于找到一个适合自己身材的成语，肥而不腻。
Finally find an idiom suitable for your body, fat but not greasy.
问：如何安慰一个胖子？答：你的人生已经很圆满了。
Q: how to comfort a fat man? A: your life is complete.
一到深夜我就开始思考问题，有什么东西是好吃，但吃了不会发胖的吗
Late at night, I began to think about the problem, what is delicious, but eat will not get fat
老公，你那么喜欢我，说说我的优点吧！爱一个人是不需要理由的！那说说我的缺点吧！懒笨馋凶矮胖圆！
Husband, you like me so much, talk about my advantages! There is no reason to love someone! Let"s talk about my shortcomings! Lazy stupid greedy fierce short fat round!
有人问我皮肤为什么黑，真搞笑，一白遮百丑，你白是为了遮丑，我又不丑。
Some people ask me why my skin is black. It"s funny. One white covers all the ugliness. You are white to cover the ugliness, but I"m not ugly.
如果男人不帮你穿上婚纱，你就送他件袈裟。
If a man doesn"t help you put on the wedding dress, you will give him a cassock.
丝袜是权力的象征，女人穿了能征服男人，男人戴了能征服银行！
Stockings are a symbol of power, women wear can conquer men, men wear can conquer the bank!
男人生气就像放炮竹，砰的一声就结束了。女人生气就像 电蚊香，持续高温，圈圈循环。
A man"s anger is like a firecracker. It"s over with a bang. A woman"s anger is like a mosquito repellent incense. It keeps high temperature and circulates in circles.
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