一看就觉得很沙雕的句子 诙谐幽默（发朋友圈很赞）

1、我其实一直是个隐形富豪，但我的钱总爱和我玩捉迷藏。

I"ve always been an invisible rich man, but my money always likes to play hide and seek with me.

2、我小时候有个梦想，长大了要当网红，现在梦想实现一半了，我长大了。

I had a dream when I was a child. When I grow up, I want to be a net star. Now half of my dream is realized. I grow up.

3、天天收红包，怪不好意思的，没办法主要是我这个人太有吸引力了，你说是吧，蚊子。

I"m sorry to receive red envelopes every day. I can"t help it. It"s because I"m so attractive, right? Mosquito.

4、世界上最近的距离：放假到开学；

世界上最远的距离：开学到放假。

The nearest distance in the world: from vacation to school;

The furthest distance in the world: from school to vacation.

5、一个人的酒量能差到什么地步，我拿着酒精棉片到处消毒，消着消着就醉了。

A person"s drinking capacity can be poor to what extent, I take alcohol cotton swabs everywhere disinfection, slowly I get drunk.

6、快乐的肥皂生活：零食不断，外卖不断，越吃越懒，越来越胖，假装锻炼熬夜好爽，越熬越爽，健康生活明天说。

Happy soap life: snacks, takeout, more and more lazy, more and more fat, pretend to exercise, stay up late good, more and more comfortable, healthy life said tomorrow.

7、长得帅有什么用，还不是要听女孩子的话。

What"s the use of being handsome? In the end, he still has to listen to girls.

8、我跟我老婆离婚了，原因是昨天晚上回到家给她讲了一个笑话，她没笑，柜子里的人笑了。

My wife and I divorced because I went home last night and told her a joke. She didn"t laugh. The people in the cupboard laughed.

9、给我转五块钱，我和易烊千玺结婚的时候，给你发请帖。

Give me five yuan and send you an invitation when I get married with yiyangqianxi.

10、我的超能力就是，所有事情都超出了我的能力。

My superpower is that everything is beyond my ability.

11、熬夜可以有效预防老年痴呆，因为熬夜可以防止你活到老年。

Staying up late can effectively prevent Alzheimer"s disease, because staying up late can prevent you from living into old age.

12、太谢谢你了，这么热的天没有你的冷暴力，我真不知道怎么活。

Thank you so much. I don"t know how to live without your cold violence in such a hot day.

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