搞笑雷人的句子 幽默滑稽（发朋友圈皮一下）

年轻人别太在意身体，该病总会病，该死总会死。

Young people don"t care too much about their health. The disease will always get sick and die.

别人都是宝藏女孩，而我是饱胀女孩！

Everyone else is a treasure girl, but I am a full girl!

在书店看到一本书叫解决你人生50%的问题，于是我买了两本

In the bookstore, I saw a book called "solve 50% problems in your life", so I bought two

我就像一只趴在玻璃上的苍蝇，前途光明，出路没有。

I"m like a fly lying on the glass, with a bright future and no way out.

每当看见有人装逼我总会默默低下头，不是我素质好，是我在找砖头。

Whenever I see someone pretending to force me, I always keep my head down in silence. It"s not that I have good quality, it"s that I"m looking for bricks.

幸好当初追你的时候你重，跑不动。

Fortunately, when I was chasing you, you were too heavy to run.

当你觉得不行的时候你就去过马路，那样你就是一个行人啦！

When you think you can"t, you go to the road, then you are a pedestrian!

我的爱好有两种，分静态和动态，静态是睡觉，动态是翻身。

I have two hobbies, static and dynamic, static is sleeping, dynamic is turning.

如果喜欢的人和食物只能选择一个，吃货怎么选择？吃货：吃掉喜欢的人。

If you can only choose one person or food you like, how do you choose to eat? Food: eat the people you like.

其实长得丑并没有什么好丢脸的，丢了也没人要。

In fact, there is no shame in being ugly, and no one wants to lose it.

怎么优雅地解释自己胖？有许多事情放在心里，不好瘦。

How to explain your fat gracefully? There are many things in mind, not good thin.

离开后，别说祝我幸福，你有什么资格祝我幸福。

After leaving, don"t say wish me happiness, what qualifications do you have to wish me happiness.

我摊牌了，其实我有男朋友，就是易烊千玺，只是目前还不太稳定，有时候梦不到！

I have a showdown. In fact, I have a boyfriend, Yi Guan Qian Xi, but I"m not stable at present. Sometimes I can"t dream!

（图片和素材源自网络，侵权联删）