12个搞笑的句子 可爱又沙雕（看完赶走你所有的烦恼）
一、小时候看到父母吵架，我就在想，以后我要不要找个人结婚呢？后来长大了，才发现，一切都是我想多了，我根本就买不起房，也找不到女朋友。
when I was a child, I saw my parents quarreling, I thought, in the future, shall I find someone to marry? Later grew up, only to find that everything is I think more, I can not afford to buy an apartment, also can not find a girlfriend.
二、明明就是你说要和我一起白头偕老的，可是我去理发店染完，你竟然又嫌弃我是非主流？
Two, clearly is you said to grow old together with me, but I went to the barber"s dye, you unexpectedly abandon me non-mainstream?
三、我们都说成年人的世界里根本没有简单两个字，其实不是这样的，比如，你很简单容易的就会掉头发，发胖，变丑。
We all say that there are no simple words in the adult world, but it is not so. For example, you will easily lose your hair, gain weight and become ugly.
四、今天又有同事问我怎么还是自己一个人？我笑了，我不是一个人难道还是半个人啊？我怕我是半个人吓死你们。
today have a colleague ask me again how still oneself a person? I smiled, I am not a person or half a person ah? I"m afraid I"m half a man to scare the shit out of you.
五、以前和大学同学一起晚上坐在操场上仰望星空，聊着聊着我们泪流满面，不过他哭是因为他被人甩了，而我哭是因为我扭到了脖子。
I used to sit on the playground at night with my college classmates and look up at the stars, chatting with them, we burst into tears, but he cried because he was dumped, and I cried because I twisted my neck.
六、这么多年我发现一个定律，就是那些长得丑的每次都有优先发言的权利，因为我经常听到他们说：“那我丑话就说在前面……”
so many years I found a law, is that those ugly every time have the priority to speak the right, because I often hear them say: "that My ugly words say in front……"
七、生活和时光告诉我们，已经过了那些无忧无虑的年纪了，接下来就是应该装坚强的时间了。
life and time tell us, has passed those carefree age, the next is the time to put on a strong.
八、每次天气预报说明天有多少级大风的时候，我就很担心，这么大的风，万一出去别人被风刮走了，而我由于太重刮不走，那我多不好意思啊。
every time the weather forecast said tomorrow how many class when the wind, I was very worried, so big wind, in case go out others were blown away by the wind, and I because of too heavy blow not to go, that I how embarrassed ah.
九、我每次减肥的时候，都要抛一个硬币到地上，如果硬币立起来的话，那我那天晚上就不吃饭了。
every time I lose weight, have to flip a coin to the ground, if the coin stands up, that I don"t eat that night.
十、单身狗是什么状态，就是连各种各样的系统都有人去维护它，可是就是你没有。
single dog is what state, is even a variety of systems are someone to maintain it, but you are not.
十一、以后那些感觉对不起我的人，请你们不要跟我说“对不起”我就想问你，如果对不起有用的话，那还要支付宝和微信红包干什么？
in the future those who feel sorry for me, please don"t tell me "sorry" I want to ask you, if sorry useful words, that still pay treasure and WeChat Lucky Money what?
十二、我们来玩一个游戏吧，如果你喜欢我的话，那你就眨一下眼睛，如果你不喜欢我的话，那就请你把你的左腿放到你的右肩上绕一圈。
Let"s play a game, if you like me, then you blink an eye, if you don"t like me, then please put your left leg on your right shoulder around a circle.
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