笑到肚子疼的句子（拯救你的不开心）
1：如果我考试过了，请不要叫我学霸，要叫我赌神!
If I have passed the exam, please don"t call me a schoolboy, please call me a gambling god!
2：每次我买饮料都是谢谢惠顾，一天考试突然惠字不会写，我就把旁边的饮料打开，当时我疯了，居然中了：再来一瓶!
Every time I buy a drink is thank you patronage, a day exam suddenly hui word can not write, I will open the next drink, when I was crazy, actually won: another bottle!
3：如果有生之前遇见你要花光我所有的运气，麻烦你离我远点，我要留着我的运气来蒙点选择题，谢谢!
If you meet you before life to spend all my luck, trouble you away from me, I want to keep my luck to cover the choice question, thank you!
4：金钱视我如粪土，我还视金钱如粪土呢!都是粪土谁怕谁啊?
Money sees me as dirt, and I see money as dirt! It"s all dung, who"s afraid of who?
5：假如生活欺骗了你，不要着急，拿出美颜相机去欺骗生活
If life deceives you, don"t worry, take out a beautiful camera to deceive life
6: 道理我都懂，可是听到别人喊美女的时候，还是忍不住回头
I understand the truth, but when I hear people shout beautiful women, I can"t help looking back
7: 拿快递的感觉就像跟失散多年的亲骨肉重逢，但常常拆开之后发现孩子长得像隔壁老王。
Taking the courier feels like a reunion with the flesh and blood that has been lost for years, but often takes it apart and finds the child looks like the old king next door.
8: 你说你要和我共白头 我染完你又说我非主流
You said you were going to share your head with me, I finished you and said I was out of the mainstream
9: 考试时，本想要咸鱼翻锅的，他奶奶的，没想到粘锅了。
During the exam, Ben wanted salty fish to turn over the pot, his grandmother"s, did not expect the sticky pot.
10: 二十多岁的年纪，有的人脱了单，有的人脱了贫，而我却脱了缰，像只哈士奇一样在二货的道路上狂奔。
Twenty years old, some people out of the single, some people out of poverty, and I took off the reins, like a husky on the road of two goods.
11: 在外拼三年，一无所有的回到家。本以为妈妈会大发雷霆。可没想到妈妈没有骂我，还安慰我：“孩子，你并不是一无所有，最起码你还有脸回来。
After three years of fighting outside, I came home with nothing. I thought my mother would be furious. But did not expect my mother did not scold me, but also comforted me: "Child, you are not nothing, at least you have a face back."
12: 做人要跟辣椒似的，热情！跟圆白菜似的，有层次！跟藕似的，留心眼。我却不一样，我就是一擀面杖，直！
Be like chili peppers, warm! Like cabbage, there are layers! Like a dragonfly, keep an eye on it. I"m different, I"m a cane, straight!
13:所谓猪一样的室友，应该就是我感冒了，让他回来给我带一盒白加黑，他给我带了一包奥利奥。
The so-called pig-like roommate, should be my cold, let him come back to bring me a box of white and black, he brought me a bag of Oreos.
14: 如果你给我的和给别人的一样，我宁可不要，食堂大妈：不吃滚！
If you give me the same as others, I"d rather not, canteen aunt: don"t eat roll!
15：你在生活中为了挽留对方，你有没有说过最卑微的话，是什么呢”“回来吧，五十就五十，亏本卖给你。
You in life in order to retain each other, you have not said the most humble words, what is "come back, fifty on fifty, sell to you at a loss."