让你笑掉大牙的搞怪句子（太沙雕了）

每天醒来的第一件事就是想睡觉。

The first thing I wake up every day is to want to sleep.

总觉得自己性格不适合上班，只适合拿工资。

I always feel that my personality is not suitable for work,only salary.

贫穷限制了一切，唯独没有限制我的体重。

Poverty limits everything except my weight.

为什么要白头偕老，我要一直长发飘飘。

Why do I want to grow old together?I want to have black hair all the time.

只因在人群中多看了你一眼，我便瞎了眼。

I"m blind because I look at you more in the crowd.

女孩子要稍微做一点坏事，然后老天爷一生气，就给你发个小伙。

Girls can do a little bit of bad things,and God will send you a guy when he gets angry.

想做你的太阳，高兴的时候温暖你，不高兴的时候晒死你。

I want to be your sun,I will warm you when I"m happy,and sun you when I"m unhappy.

我不撞南墙，怎么知道是我厉害还是南墙厉害。

How can I know who is powerful between thesouth wall and me if I don"t hit it?

我刚刚在喂猪，喂着喂着我就哭了，连猪都有人喂，我却没有。

I was just feeding the pigs.I cried.Even the pigs were fed,but I didn"t.

我刚刚在吃豆腐脑，吃着吃着我就哭了，连豆腐都有脑子，我却没有。

I was just eating uncongealed tofu. I cried.Even tofu has brain,but I don"t.

我刚刚在玩手机，玩着玩着我就哭了，连手机都有人和它玩，我却没有。

I was just playing with my cell phone. I cried. Even my cell phone was played with,but I didn"t.

图源来自网络，侵权删，谢谢！