很皮很逗的爆笑短句 2020年上半年总结：除了体重（啥也没进步）

1.关门学习一个月，不要叫我，因为一叫我就出来……

I will shut my door and study for a month. Don"t call me because I"ll come out as soon as I"m called……

2.煮饭时，一只蟹顶锅盖而出，道：我热。答曰：想红就得忍着！

When cooking, a crab comes out of the pot with the lid on, saying: I"m hot. Answer:you have to endure if you want to be red！

3.2020年上半年总结：除了体重，啥也没进步。

Summary for the first half of 2020: nothing but weight increases.

4.心狠手辣的我，舔了一下自己的手指，结果被辣哭了。

I am heartless and cruel,I licked my finger, then result was that I cried for it"s so spicy.

5.我要努力攒钱，争取买一个自动取款机。

I"m going to save money and try to buy an ATM.

6.一男子去菜市场买一公斤猪肉，因为猪肉不够，老板从猪脸上割下一小块补进去。

A man went to a vegetable market to buy a kilo of pork. Because the pork was not enough ， the boss cut a piece from the pig"s face and filled it.

男子见状不答应了，大声地说：“我不要脸！”

The man did not allow, loudly said: "I don"t want face!"

7.现在网络上经常给我制造一种假象：全世界的人都很有钱，就我没有。

Now the Internet often gives me the illusion that all the people in the world have much money except me.

8.别人减肥是不吃零食、规律作息、多运动，我减肥是“你好，一杯奶茶，少糖。”

Others lose weight by not eating snacks、regular exercising and regular routine, I lose weight by saying "hello, a cup of milk tea, less sugar. ”

9.太有礼貌也不是件好事，刚刚别人踩了我一脚，我习惯性地说了句“谢谢。”

It"s not a good thing to be too polite. I just got into the habit of saying "thank you" when someone stepped on my foot.

10.上学时没钱，都是买打折的衣服。上班后就不一样了，打折的我也买不起。

When I went to school, I had no money and bought clothes on sale. It"s different when I go to work. I can"t afford the clothes with discount！

以上图片来源于网络