可以让你做个好梦的皮皮句（哈笑一整天）

一，最近几天的收入来源 主要靠退货。

The source of income in recent days mainly depends on returns

二，算命先生算的可真准算出了我就只有一条命。

The fortune teller is so accurate that I only have one life.

三，建议大家多喜欢我 会有助于脱单 上次说喜欢我的男的 已经换了两个女朋友了。

It is suggested that everyone likes me more, which will help to get rid of the bill. The man who said he liked me last time has changed two girlfriends

四，每次和我聊天你都说去洗澡，怎么 和我聊天，脏了你是吧

Every time you talk to me, you say to take a bath. Why? Chatting with me, dirty you, isn"t it?

五，晚上睡觉记得把窗户关好，我这个人带着麻袋爬窗户很快的。

Remember to close the window when you sleep at night. I can climb the window quickly wit

六，如果你讨厌我 讨厌到想拿钱雇人打我的地步的话我想跟你说 你把钱打给我吧只要钱到位 我自己都打。

If you hate me to the point where you want to pay someone to beat me, I want to tell you that you can call me the money as long as the money is in place.

七，迪士尼向我发律师函了，说我侵犯他们的肖像权，因为我长得像他们的野兽。

Disney sent me a lawyer"s letter, saying that I violated their portrait rights because I looked like their beast

八，我觉得我已经变成熟了 因为我不喜欢看喜羊羊了 因为他只能保护青青草原和抓羊 我现在喜欢看奥特曼他可以保护世界。

I think I have become ripe because I don"t like watching Pleasant Goat because he can only protect qingqing grasslands and catch sheep. I like watching Altman now, and he can protect the world

九，小时候总想把头发梳成大人模样，长大后才发现大人没什么头发

。When I was a child, I always wanted to comb my hair like an adult. When I grew up, I found that adults didn"t have much hair.

十，我喜欢的姑娘她很懂事，每次我要请她吃饭，她都说你省省吧。

The girl I like is very sensible. Every time I invite her to dinner, she says you should save it

十一，坚强点，起码你还招蚊子喜欢。

Be strong, at least you still like mosquitoes

十二，我看你的小脑袋瓜一定是热昏了头了。

I think your little brain must be hot and faint.

十三，数据时代就是厉害 上一秒 在微信打完“笑死了”下一秒打开淘宝已经给我推荐棺材了。

The data age is amazing. In the last second, after WeChat finished "laughing", Taobao opened the next second and recommended the pipe to me

十四，今天打了个滴滴，司机说他是富二代，出来跑滴就是为了玩，平时除了他爸的话谁都不听，我说前面儿靠边儿停车，他说好的。

Today, the driver said that he was a rich second generation, and he came out to play. Usually, he didn"t listen to anyone but his dad. I said to pull over before, and he said yes.

十五，你把拼多多那心思用在我身上，你得到的何止是100块。

You put Pinduoduo"s mind on me, and you get more than 100 yuan

十六，我一般不会和让我不爽的人对骂 一是我有限的生命里不能浪费在无聊的人身上 二是我确实骂不过。

I generally don"t scold people who upset me. First, I can"t waste my limited life on boring people. Second, I really can"t scold them

十七，刚才在飞机上碰到一个泰国人，他对我朋友说：萨瓦迪卡。我朋友一激动回了个阿弥陀佛！我就不一样回一句雷霆嘎巴。

I met a Thai on the plane just now. He said to my friend: Savadika. My friend got excited and returned an Amitabha! I"m different. I"ll say thunder gab