向快乐出发的沙雕文案（赞爆你的朋友圈）

一，智者不入爱河 智者只钻钱眼。

Wise men in The sensible does not fall in love only look for money.

二，我问小狗:"今年我桃花旺吗" 它说："旺"！I asked the puppy, "am my peach blossom prosperous this year?" and he said, "prosperous"!

I asked the puppy, "am my peach blossom prosperous this year?" and he said, "prosperous"!

三，不理我？你上厕所没有纸，你出门必忘带钥匙，吃饭必噎到，玩手机必没电，你睡觉必落枕，你斗地主3456没有7。

Ignore me? You have no paper when you go to the toilet, you will forget to bring your keys when you go out, you will choke when you eat, you will have no electricity when you play with your mobile phone, you will have a stiff neck when you sleep, and you won"t have a landlord 3456.

四，开学后 有人小树林里亲嘴 有人食堂里面暧昧 但我一心只在乎数学课能不能考及格。

After school started, some people kissed in the Woods, some people were ambiguous in the canteen, but all I care about is whether I can pass the math class.

五，大家有多少天没喝果汁啦？这样下去你们都会变成没味道的女人。

How many days has it been since everyone drank juice? If this continues, you will all become tasteless women.

六，开罐头开不开 开学容容易易。It"s easy to open a can but not a school.七，怎么有的人找对象要求能列几十条，我择偶的标准就仨字：求你了。

It"s easy to open a can but not a school.

七，怎么有的人找对象要求能列几十条，我择偶的标准就仨字：求你了。

Why do some people ask for dozens of objects? My criteria for choosing a spouse are three words: Please

八，前程似锦太假了 我祝他子孙满堂都是兄弟帮的忙 桃花不断 遇不到真爱。

The future is bright and false. I wish his children and grandchildren all the help of brothers. Peach blossoms will never meet true love again and again

九，我严重怀疑 月老是不是把我的红线拿去织秋裤了。

I seriously doubt whether Yue Lao took my red line to weave long trousers

十，对象没有不要紧，奶茶不喝会伤心。

It doesn"t matter if you don"t have a partner, you will be sad if you don"t drink milk tea.

十一，不回信息就赶紧把手机换成不锈钢盆好吗。

If you don"t return the information, please change your mobile phone into a stainless steel basin

十二，和易烊千玺在一起三年了 昨天他悄悄地在我耳边说：早睡早起才不会做白日梦哦。

I have been with Jackson Yee for three years. Yesterday, he whispered in my ear: Early to bed and early to rise will not daydream.

十三，这是我的宝宝 其实我们很早前就认识了 那时候她比现在可爱满大街追着我 那时候我还叫吕洞宾。

This is my baby. In fact, we met a long time ago. At that time, she was cuter than she is now. She chased me all over the street. At that time, my name was Lv Dongbin

十四，你要悄悄熬夜，熬成地中海，然后闪瞎所有人。

You have to stay up late quietly, boil into the Mediterranean Sea, and then blind everyone

十五，建议大家多爱我，多脱单很有用，前几天说喜欢我的男的已经换了两个对象了。

I suggest you love me more. It is useful to take off more orders. The man who said he liked me a few days ago has changed two objects.

十六，我坐在卡座上，情绪失控了14次，没头没脑地来来回回晃了好几次，实在想不通我那9.9拼夕夕包邮的墨镜去哪了。

I sat in the booth. I lost my temper 14 times and swayed back and forth several times without thinking. I really couldn"t figure out where my 9.9 sunglasses went