英语美文｜ Who（Will You Be to Me：你会成为我的谁）

On the eve of becoming a stepmother, a woman wonders what the boy she has come to love like a son will call her...

在成为继母的前夕，一个女人想知道，她开始像儿子一样关爱的男孩会怎么称呼她……

Who Will You Be to Me?

你会成为我的谁？

Betsy Graziani Fasbinderb / 文

One afternoon before Tom and I were to be married, Max wandered into the dining room of the house, where I was sorting through a box of old photographs. He tossed a bright orange Nerf ball over and over, said nothing, and didn"t look at me; he just focused completely on the ball.

在汤姆和我结婚前的一天下午，马克斯走进餐厅，当时我在那儿整理一箱老照片。他不停地扔一个明黄色的碰碰球，一言不发，也不看我，完全集中在球上。

"Whatcha doin"?" he finally asked.

“你在干什么？”他最终问到。

"Just trying to organize some of my pictures," I said.

“只是在整理一些照片，”我答道。

编辑

In my months of living with them, I"d learned to let Max, who was all of seven, come close on his own. If I crowded him, he skittered away. If I was patient, though, we often ended up playing, laughing, and, recently, even snuggling on the couch with a book or a TV show.

在我和他们一起住的这几个月，我学会让七岁多的马克斯自己靠近我。如果我离他太近，他会蹦开。但如果我耐心一点，我们会一起玩，一起笑，最近甚至开始一起窝在沙发上看书或看电视节目。

"Who"s that?" he asked, peeking around my shoulder.

“那是谁？” 越过我的肩膀他问道。

"My mom when she was young."

“那是我妈妈年轻时候的样子。”

"What"s she sitting on?"

“她坐在什么上面？”

"A paper moon. They used to have them at fairs and carnivals. People liked to pose for pictures on them."

“一轮纸月。过去经常在集市或者狂欢节上看到。人们喜欢在上面摆姿势拍照。”

"That"s dumb. It doesn"t even look like a real moon."

“那样好傻。它甚至都不像真正的月亮。”

"After the wedding, I suppose she"ll be your grandma Sylvia."

“婚礼之后，我想她会成为你的外婆西尔维娅。”

"Cool."

“赞。”

"What about them?" he asked, pointing to a picture of my sister and her family.

“他们又是谁?”他指着一张我姐姐和她家人的照片问道。

"Di and Jim will be your aunt and uncle. Megan and Matt will be your cousins."

“迪和吉姆将是你的姑姑和叔叔。梅根和马特会是你的表亲。”

"Sweet," he said, looking into my face for the first time since he"d entered the room. His eyes were chocolate pools, his thick, dark hair a sleek, shiny coat that made me want to run my fingers over it.

“太好了，”他说着，盯着我的脸。这是他走进房间以来第一次看着我。他的眼睛是巧克力色的，像池水般清澈，他那浓密的黑发，光滑闪亮的外套，让我想要轻抚。

"I don"t have any boy cousins. And how about him?"

“我没有任何堂兄或者堂弟。他又是谁呢?”

"That"s my brother John. He"ll be another uncle."

“这是我弟弟约翰。他将是另一个叔叔。”

We sorted stacks of aunts and uncles, cousins and friends.

我们一起整理出了成堆的阿姨、叔叔、堂兄妹和朋友。

"Wow, you have a lot of people," Max said with a sigh.

“哇，你有很多亲戚朋友，”麦克斯叹了口气说道。

"I suppose I do."

“我想是的。”

He began to finger through the stacks, messing up what I"d already sorted, but that was all right. My original task no longer mattered. As we neared the bottom of the stack, a honey-thick warmth began to fill me. Perhaps my family was to be the dowry I"d bring to this little boy who had lost so much.

他开始把我已经整理好的东西弄乱，但没关系。那已经不再重要了。随着我们接近这摞照片的底部，蜂蜜般的温暖开始包裹着我。也许我的家庭是我给这个失去了很多的小男孩带来的嫁妆。

编辑

"Whoa," he exclaimed, laughing at my third-grade photo, the one where my hair had been expanded to new dimensions by an especially humid Indiana day.

“哇，”他惊叫道，对着我三年级的照片笑道，照片里，我的头发被潮湿的印第安纳州天气弄得十分夸张。

At moments like this, Max was just a little boy, buoyant with energy, easy with a laugh. He played Legos and watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. And he tossed balls. At other times, when he was still or thought no one was looking, it seemed that the earth’s pull was just a little stronger where he stood, tugging the corners of his mouth downward, making his eyes years older than seven birthdays would imply.

在这样的时刻，马克斯只是一个小男孩，精力充沛，轻松愉快。他玩乐高玩具，看忍者神龟，扔球。其它时候，当他不动或者以为没人看时，地心引力似乎在他所站的位置加强了，把他的嘴角往下拉，使得他的眼睛看上去比七岁的年龄要大。

Just as I was about to put the last of the pictures in the box, Max pressed his finger once more to a face. "And who will this be to me?"

就在我准备把最后一张照片放在盒子里时，麦克斯再一次用手指按在一张脸上。“这个人会成为我的谁？”

Beneath his finger I could see the edges of my own face. My heart swelled. This son of the man I loved was becoming my son. We"d have family Christmas cards and school art stuck with magnets to the fridge. I"d make goody bags at birthday parties, snap pictures at graduations. I was becoming a mother but without the benefit of a growing belly or a baby shower to prepare me.

在他的手指下，我能看到自己的脸。此刻我心潮澎湃。我爱的那个人的儿子即将成为我的儿子。我们会一起做家庭圣诞卡和用磁铁粘在冰箱上的学校艺术品。我会在生日聚会上做礼品袋，在毕业典礼上拍照。我即将成为一名母亲，但没有一个逐渐变大的肚子或准妈妈派对来让我做好准备。

"Well, what do you think?"

“那你觉得呢？”

Max shrugged. Then he looked away, and I knew it was my job to field this one. "I"ll be your second mom," I said.

马克斯耸耸肩。然后他把目光移开，我知道这个问题我该自己回答。"我将是你的第二个妈妈。"

"Oh."

“噢。”

"I"m sorry that your first mom died. I liked her."

“我很抱歉你的第一个妈妈去世了。我喜欢她。”

"What should I call you?" he asked.

“我该怎么称呼你？””他问道。

My heart pounded, and my stomach turned. I"ll be your mama, and you"ll be my son. "You can call me Mom, or Mama. You can also call me Betsy, if you"d rather. Whatever feels OK for you."

我的心在砰砰跳，我的胃在翻滚。我会是你的妈妈，你将是我的儿子。“你可以叫我老妈，或者妈妈。你也可以叫我贝琪，如果你愿意的话。只要你觉得ok的都可以。”

He stood there a minute, and I waited, expecting a pronouncement of my new title.

他站在那里站了一分钟，我等待着，期待着新称呼的宣布。

"What"s for dinner?" he asked, picking up his ball.

“晚饭吃什么?他问道，拿起他的球。

"Burgers."

“汉堡。”

"Sweet," he said, tossing the ball as he walked out of the room.

“太好了，”他说着，一边走出房间，一边把球扔了出去。

编辑

Tom and I were married a few months later. For a couple of days afterward, Max tried out a new title for me. "Can we go bowling?" he"d ask, and then follow the question by mouthing the word Mom. Or, "Can we go to the store?" And the mouthed word Mom. Mom was always silent.

汤姆和我几个月后结婚了。在那之后的几天里，马克斯试着为我找一个合适的称呼。“我们可以去打保龄球吗?”他会问，然后无声地发出“妈妈”。或者，“我们可以去商店吗？”最后还是以无声的“妈妈”结尾。“妈妈”总是无声的。

Week later, as I drove him home from school, Max pulled a baggie full of Cheez-Its from his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles lunch box. He munched away, licking the orange dust off each finger. With his focus deep inside the near-empty snack bag, he suddenly said, "I notice I don"t call you Mom."

几周后，当我开车从学校接他回家时，马克斯从他的忍者神龟午餐盒里拿出了一个装满奶酪的袋子。他用力嚼着，舔掉手指上的橘色粉末。在他把注意力集中在几乎空空的零食袋里时，他突然说道：“我注意到我没叫你妈妈。”

"I noticed that too."

“我也注意到了。”

"When I say Betsy, I mean Mom."

“当我说贝琪的时候，我的意思是妈妈。”

"Thanks," I said. "That"s nice to know."

“谢谢,”我说。“我很高兴知道这点。”

He looked out the window. "Moms die, you know. I think it"s maybe safer if you"re just Betsy.”

他望向窗外。“妈妈死了,你知道的。我想，如果你只是贝琪，那样可能安全些。”

I willed tears away, not wanting to overwhelm him. He had enough to carry. "Thanks, bud. I appreciate you telling me."

我把眼泪咽回去，不想让感情压倒他。他所承担的已经够多了。 “谢谢你。我很感激你告诉我。”

Those big chocolate eys found mine. I waited.

那双巧克力色的大眼睛看着我。我等待着。

"Hey, Betsy?"

“嘿,贝琪?”

"Yeah," I said, delighted with the new sound of my old name.

“怎么啦，”我说，很高兴再次听到我的名字。

"Wha"s for dinner?" he asked.

“晚饭吃什么?”他问道。

编辑