电影《汉娜·盖茨比：道格拉斯（2020）》Part1 中英文对照台词

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道格拉斯 道格拉斯 苹果树

Douglas Douglass, apple tree

x原创脱口秀

有了老婆 随她去

Have a wife, now let her be

汉娜

给我 给我你拥有的

Give me, give me what you got

我会让你变成一个崭新的人

I"m gonna make you what you"re not

盖茨比

道格拉

道格拉斯

道格拉斯 道格拉斯 仙人果

Douglas Douglass, prickly pear

有了老婆 但我不在乎

Have a wife, but I don"t care

给我 给我你全部的灵魂

Give me, give me all your soul...

谢谢

Thank you.

非常感谢大家的到来

Thank you so much.

大家好

Hello.

快看它

Look at this!

看

Look at this.

这个

That...

这是个完全用蜡笔涂的狗

That is a dog made entirely out of crayons.

我不需要它

I don"t need that.

都快成麻烦了

I"m part of the problem now.

这是我的金马桶

That"s my gold toilet.

金马桶：艺术家创作、意在讽刺特朗普的艺术品《美国》

我没打算在美国做出这么个玩意儿

I had no plans to make it in America.

这个本来不在我计划里

This was not on my agenda.

但是后来我写了《纳内特》剧本

And then what happened though is I wrote a show called Nanette,

记得吗 那个

right, that...

然后

Well, then...

就很明显了 不是吗

That"s clear, isn"t it?

这就是你们来这里的原因

That"s why you"re here.

你不会是因为我之前的节目才来这的吧

You"re not here because of my back catalog of prior, are you?

如果你是因为《纳内特》而来 那有个问题

Which does beg the question, if you"re here because of Nanette...

到底为什么来

why?

别误会 那是个优秀的节目 很不错

Like, don"t get me wrong, it was a good show. Solid bit of work.

我很自豪

I"m quite fond.

但那是一个别具一格的节目

But it was a particular show of a very particular flavor.

如果那就是你们来的原因

And if that is what has brought...

你们对今天的节目又有什么期待

What the fuck are you expecting from this show?

如果伤害了你 我道歉

Because I"m sorry, if it"s more trauma,

我现在有点过度兴奋

I... I am fresh out.

早知道喜剧界

Had I known just how wildly popular trauma

这么流行心灵创伤的话

was going to be in the context of comedy,

我可能会安排得好一点

I might have budgeted my shit a bit better.

我说真的 我可以以此成就一番事业

Honestly. I could have built quite the career out of it.

最少能编出个三部曲

At least a trilogy.

但我像个傻子一样

But I went and put all my trauma eggs

把我的伤痛放进了同一个篮子里

into one basket like a fucking idiot,

现在就这样了

and now here we are.

你们还想要啥

You want more?

只是出于好奇才问 这么热烈的掌声里

Just out of curiosity, by round of applause,

有谁没看过《纳内特》

who has not seen Nanette?

更不明白你们干嘛来这了

Even less of an idea why the fuck you"re here.

好吧 欢迎你们

I mean, welcome.

来得好 来赌一赌

Good on you, taking a punt.

别担心 没事的

And-- And don"t worry, it"s fine.

这个节目跟你看没看过《纳内特》没啥关系

This show does not depend on you having seen Nanette.

我没那么自信 但

I"m not that kind of confident, but...

我们看看会发生什么

We"ll see what happens.

但除了伤害

But other than trauma,

我不知道

you know, I have no way of telling

人们想从这个节目中获得什么

what people are expecting from this show.

是吧 但我觉得从我的角度出发

Right? But what I"ve decided is possible

和你们进行讨论是可行的

is for me to just tell you.

这也是接下来的内容

And that"s what"s gonna happen.

这样我才能回应你们的期望

That"s how I"m going to meet your expectations.

为你们对内容进行调整

By adjusting them for you now.

这将是你们切实获得的东西

So they are exactly what you"re gonna get.

我能做到这点 然后你们说

Then I"ll meet them and you"ll go,

"她好厉害哦" 对啊 我好厉害哦

"She"s very good." And, yes, I am,

但我取了巧

but I cheat.

节目开始之前就会发生这样的事情 好吗

So that"s what"s gonna happen before the show even begins, right?

我会跟你们详细地 一步步地描述

I"m going to give you a very detailed, blow-by-blow description

这个节目将怎样进行

of exactly how the show is going to unfold.

现在这个期待值还在继续上升

Now this setting of expectations does go on a bit.

为了把这段放进去我不得不剪掉了点内容

I"ve had to cut the actual show in order to fit it in, but...

但我相信这是值得的

I believe it"s worth it, you know?

因为 努力去达到你的期望 是我的工作

Like, to be able to meet your expectations, it"s my job.

面对现实吧 这算是我第二难产的专辑

And let"s face it, this is my difficult second album,

也是我的第十张和某些人的第一张

that is also my tenth and some people"s first.

真的压力山大的

You know, it"s a lot of pressure.

所以现在开始设定你们的期待值

So let"s set your expectations.

当节目开始的时候

When the show begins...

当节目正式开始的时候

When the show actually begins...

现在还不算 别慌

This is not it. Don"t panic.

开始之后 我将从

When it begins, I"m gonna kick things off

观察喜剧开始

with a bit of observational comedy.

怎么样 有一点

Right? A bit of, you know,

"你们有注意到吗 怎么回事"

"Have you ever noticed... What"s up with that?"

喜剧表演经典开场白

垃圾 但我就是从这个开始

That shit. That"s what I"m starting with.

不是什么有趣的开头

And look, it"s not very good,

我们之间要完全真诚

I"m gonna be perfectly honest with you,

因为我眼神不好

because I"m not very observant.

讲真

Typically speaking...

看东西糊得跟鬼一样 好么

vague as fuck, right?

先提醒一下 我的观察对象是美国人

Now, fair warning, my observations will be about Americans,

或者说 是你们

which is, broadly speaking, you lot.

好吧

Right? So...

对不起 从实际来讲

And-- And, sorry, but making fun of Americans

因政治社会等原因 吐槽禁区增加 许多话题无法被吐槽

吐槽美国人还是可以的

is still technically punching up,

虽然也快不行了

although that window is closing.

真的

It is.

所以

And so...

我只是在利用机会

I"m just making hay, you know.

因为我不能说俄罗斯人 所以我真的

"Cause I can"t speak Russian, so I"ve really gotta...

趁我还可以的时候多搞点 我也不知道

get it in while I can. I don"t know.

我得提醒你们一下

I should just also warn you,

在我吐槽美国人的时候

during the bit where I make fun of Americans...

你会觉得很敏感

your feelings will smart,

因为我在吐槽你们

because I will be making fun of you there.

我只是希望你们喜欢那样 好吧

I just need you to expect that, right?

就像我们那儿说的

I will be taking the absolute piss,

虽然你们也不在意我们那儿

as we say back home,

我就是在开玩笑

not that you care.

你坐在那里 只想说 "噢"

And so you"ll be sitting there, just going, "Oh."

够了 我不想否认你的感觉

And fair enough. I don"t want to deny your feelings.

请保持 全身心地体验它

Have them, please. Let them run through you, definitely.

但我强烈建议

But what I would suggest, strongly,

不要代入这些感觉

is that you do not invest in those feelings.

不要被这些感觉抓住 因为这个节目

Don"t let them get a grip on you, because what this show is,

是个浪漫喜剧

if anything, is a romantic comedy.

最后 重要的是

So it"s just, to that end, important

我们这个开局不怎么地

that we get off to a shaky start.

以上 别代入就行了

So that"s all... Just don"t invest.

感受 但不要代入

Feel, but don"t invest.

跟着我的节奏 相信我

Just go with me. Trust me.

还是别信我了

Don"t trust me.

也别信那个兄弟

Don"t trust that person.

不管怎样

Anyway...

明白 我们就从这里开始

That bit, right? So that"s how it"s gonna start.

一个小小的观察喜剧

Bit of observational comedy.

然后我会讲一个故事给你们听

Then what I"m going to do is I am going to tell you a story

这是个发生在白天的

about a curious incident that took place

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