幽默搞笑小句子 有理有据（开怀大笑）

春节就是：大人们打牌，小孩子到处玩，让我这种不大不小又没对象的情何以堪。

The Spring Festival is: adults play cards and children play everywhere. Why do I feel so small and unattached.

女人，小时候有爸爸疼，长大了有老公疼，老了有儿子疼。男人，小时候听妈妈的话，长大了听老婆的话，老了听女儿的话。

A woman has a father when she was a child, a husband when she grew up, and a son when she grew old. Men listen to their mothers when they are young, their wives when they grow up, and their daughters when they grow old.

能弯腰为你系鞋带的男人永远比只会帮你脱衣服的男人好。

The man who can bend down and tie your shoes is always better than the man who can only take off your clothes.

单身的典型标志就是：一个月流量套餐早没了，通话套餐还剩一大半。

The typical sign of being single is that the one month traffic package is long gone, and more than half of the call package is left.

等一个不爱你的人，就像是在机场等一艘船。

Waiting for someone who doesn"t love you is like waiting for a ship at the airport.

我虽然不能为你上天揽月，但我能为你下海底捞捞鱼丸捞滑虾捞肥牛……

Although I can"t catch the moon for you, I can catch fish balls, slippery shrimp and fat cattle under the sea

发烧四十度，想叫老公送我去医院，却发现他正跪在地上为我诵经祈福。

With a fever of 40 degrees, I wanted to ask my husband to take me to the hospital, but I found him kneeling on the ground chanting prayers for me.

（素材与图片源于网络，侵权联删）

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