让人感到开心的搞笑句子（分享到朋友圈跟大家一起乐一乐）

吓死我了，打雷就打雷，闪什么电，还以为有人在帮我拍照！

Scared to death, thunder on thunder, flash what electricity, thought someone was taking pictures for me!

别以为我不知道你上课发短信，有谁会对着自己的裤裆傻笑。

Don"t think I don"t know who will smirk at your crotch when you text in class.

这大冬天让我明白了一个道理，人是铁，饭是钢，床是磁铁！

This winter let me understand a truth, people are iron, rice is steel, bed is magnet!

真羡慕那些有故事的人，不像我，一个“帅”字就能贯穿一生。

I really envy those who have stories. Unlike me, a word "handsome" can run through my life.

看见别的女孩子吃我也吃，看见别的女孩子买我也买，看见别的女孩子又瘦又美我就当没看。

When I see other girls eating, I also eat. When I see other girls buying, I also buy. When I see other girls thin and beautiful, I don"t see them.

如果你容不下我，说明不是你的心胸太狭小，就是我的人格太伟大。

If you can"t accommodate me, it means that either your mind is too narrow or my personality is too great.

同事说他刚毕业那会儿找工作，在应聘现场面试官问：“你最大的缺点是什么？”同事回答：“诚实。”面试官：“我并不觉得这是一个缺点啊。”同事马上开心地说：“真的吗，大胖子？

Colleagues said that he was looking for a job when he just graduated. When he was applying for a job, the interviewer asked, "what"s your biggest weakness?" The colleague replied, "be honest." Interviewer: "I don"t think it"s a disadvantage." The colleague immediately said happily, "really, fat man?

由于性格太内向，一直做不出抢着结账这种事。

Because of his introverted personality, he has been unable to rush to settle the bill.

不对老婆耍酷，不让老婆吃醋，吵架先要让步，老婆揍我挺住。

Don"t play cool with your wife. Don"t let your wife be jealous. If you quarrel, you have to give in first. Your wife will beat me and hold on.

女人的一生，小时候淘气，长大了淘宝，工作了淘金，结婚了淘米，老了，淘汰。

In a woman"s life, she was naughty when she was a child, Taobao when she grew up, gold when she worked, rice when she got married, old and eliminated.

我这人没啥突出的优点，就是看女孩的眼光特别准，凡是被我追过的女孩，最后都无一例外地嫁了好人家。

I don"t have any outstanding advantages, that is, I have a special eye for girls. All the girls I have chased end up marrying good families without exception.

有人说落后就要挨打，也有人说枪打出头鸟，说明一个人想要打你，总能找到理由。

Some people say that if you fall behind, you will be beaten. Others say that if you shoot a bird in the head, you can always find a reason.

一般长得好看的妹子撒个娇就能搞定的事，我都得靠武力威胁。

Generally speaking, I have to rely on the threat of force to deal with the affairs that a pretty girl can handle.

每次和我爸吵架，我都好想告诉他：“你知道外面有多少人想当我爸爸吗？”

Every time I quarrel with my father, I always want to tell him, "do you know how many people outside want to be my father?"

图源网，侵联删

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