放松心情的句子 幽默大方（总有一句逗你开心）

我妈问我怎么在卫生间那么久都不出来，我没敢告诉她：我路过镜子时被自己迷住了。

My mother asked me why I didn"t come out in the bathroom for so long. I didn"t dare tell her that I was fascinated by myself when I passed the mirror.

今天去修耳机，客服帮我掏了耳朵，之后觉得音质好了很多。

Today, I went to repair the earphone. The customer service took out my ears for me. After that, I felt that the sound quality was much better.

描述一下你上课的模样，从脊椎动物变成无脊椎动物最后变成软体动物。

Describe how you went from a vertebrate to an invertebrate to a mollusk in class.

如果你月薪一万想在北京买房子，不妨先定个小目标，比如，先活他个五百年。

If you want to buy a house in Beijing with a monthly salary of 10000 yuan, you might as well set a small goal first, for example, live for 500 years.

别说我脾气不好，在这个世界，我不保护自己，谁保护我。

Don"t say I have a bad temper. In this world, I don"t protect myself. Who will protect me.

别跟我唧唧歪歪炫耀你有多少朋友，在困难的时候看谁帮你，土豆一车不如夜明珠一颗。

Don"t show me how many friends you have. When you are in trouble, you can see who can help you. A car of potatoes is not as good as a night pearl.

离开就不要回来了，能走的都是垃圾和变心的狗。

If you leave, don"t come back. All you can walk are rubbish and changing dogs.

旧情复燃的结果就是重蹈覆辙，自作多情的下场就是自取其辱。

The result of the revival of the old love is to repeat the same mistakes, and the end of self indulgence is self humiliation.

爱情就像狼来了，你以为它来了，却是假的，你以为它是假的，它却真的来了。

Love is like a wolf. You think it"s coming, but it"s fake. You think it"s fake, but it"s really coming.

每次有人凶我的时候，我都觉得这个人有毛病，对着这么可爱的我，他居然还能发脾气。

Every time someone attacks me, I think this person has something wrong. He can even lose his temper to such a lovely me.

也因寂寞难耐，谈过几次恋爱。谁知屡战屡败，轻轻松松被踹！

Because of loneliness, I fell in love several times. Who knows, repeatedly defeated, easily kicked!

（图片和素材源自网络，侵权联删）