让人放松心情的句子 开心幽默（建议收藏）

世界上最遥远的距离是：我们俩一起出门，你去买苹果四代，我去买四袋苹果。

The furthest distance in the world is: we go out together, you buy four generations of apples, I buy four bags of apples.

其实找男朋友吧，没必要选长得帅的，只要贱的可爱，愿意做你的逗比，这就够了。

In fact, find a boyfriend, there is no need to choose a long handsome, as long as the cheap cute, willing to do your teaser, this is enough.

作为一个优秀的男朋友只需要做到八个字，买，美，行，宝宝说得对。

As an excellent boyfriend, you only need to do eight words, buy, beautiful, OK, baby is right.

每次借同学作业抄时，他总不忘说一句：我乱写的。

Every time he borrowed his classmate"s homework, he never forgot to say: I scribbled.

“知道男生为什么要比女生高吗？”“因为上帝知道男生要向自己媳妇低头！”

"Do you know why boys are taller than girls?"“ Because God knows that a boy should bow to his daughter-in-law! "

如果你吃了亏，千万不要喝水，不然你会变污的。

If you suffer losses, don"t drink water, or you will get dirty.

我们和零零后的差别，我们的童年是大雄 他们的童年是熊大。

The difference between us and Post-Zero is that our childhood is big male, and their childhood is big bear.

从前书信很远，马车很慢，一生只够爱一个人，但可以纳很多妾。

Once upon a time, letters were far away, carriages were slow, life was only enough to love one person, but could take many concubines.

如果哪天我接电话，语气很奇怪请猜测我不是被人拐了就是我妈在旁边。

If I answer the phone one day with a strange tone, please guess whether I was abducted or my mother was nearby.

吃下去的就坚决不再吐出来，所以吃之前要想清楚恋爱也是。

What you eat is determined not to spit out, so you should think clearly about love before eating.

网络就像是监狱，本来是偷了个钱包进来的，等出去的时候就什么都学会了。

The Internet is like a prison. It was originally stolen a wallet and learned everything when it went out.

（图片和素材源自网络，侵权联删）