让人开心的沙雕句子 搞笑有趣（越看越喜欢）

暑假前信誓旦旦的说我要减肥，暑假后没瘦还胖了！

Before the summer vacation vowed that I want to lose weight, after the summer vacation did not lose weight also fat!

求教：女朋友每天出门都让我帮她系围巾，可我不太会，请问哪种系法能够勒得她少说废话？

Ask for advice: my girlfriend asks me to tie her scarf every day when she goes out, but I"m not good at it. What kind of tie can make her talk less nonsense?

如果你嫌弃我脾气大的话，那你去找个漏气的啊。

If you don"t like my temper, you can find a leak.

新时代的女性，上得了厅堂，翻得了围墙，斗得了小三，打的了流氓，就是下不了厨房。

Women in the new era can"t get out of the kitchen when they get into the hall, turn over the wall, fight against the junior and beat the hooligans.

我是个很重感情的人，当感情失去了，这才发现，我是个很重的人！

I am a very heavy emotional person, when the feelings lost, it was found that I am a very heavy person!

经过好多年的不断努力奋斗。我终于从一个懵懂无知的少年，变成了一个懵懂无知的青年。

After years of continuous efforts. I finally changed from an ignorant youth to an ignorant youth.

你有自拍照吗，发给我，我扫一下五福，我看一下你是不是真的傻人有傻福。

Do you have self photos? Send them to me. I"ll scan the five blessings to see if you are really stupid.

你们那种会自动显示45kg的体重秤是哪里买的呀？我也想要。

Where did you buy the 45 kg scale that will automatically display? I also want to.

很喜欢秋天，跟恋爱一样早晚都凉。

I like autumn very much. It"s as cool as love.

我不想要什么身份，也不想要什么地位，我只想简简单单地变成一个有钱人。

I don"t want any status, I don"t want any status, I just want to be a rich man.

刚进手术室，医生问我是全麻还是半麻，我说:微辣。

Just into the operating room, the doctor asked me whether I was general anesthesia or semi anesthesia, I said: slightly spicy.

有些作业，只要静下心来做，就一定会睡着。

Some homework, as long as calm down to do, will fall asleep.

如果夜里十二点，我还回你消息那么意味着什么，意味着我是真的很喜欢玩手机。

If I return your message at 12 o"clock in the night, what does it mean? It means that I really like playing with my mobile phone.

女朋友要和我分手，为了拯救这段感情，我把她的素颜照发到了朋友圈。果然，她不仅主动联系了我，还信誓旦旦地对我说：“我跟你没完！”

My girlfriend wants to break up with me. In order to save this relationship, I sent her plain face to my circle of friends. Sure enough, she not only took the initiative to contact me, but also vowed to me: "I"m not finished with you!"

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