每日一读的沙雕句子 幽默风趣（每天笑一笑）

一天没戴眼镜逛街，看到一个既帅气又熟悉的人。想过去看看到底是谁。原来是一面镜子。

One day I went shopping without glasses and saw a handsome and familiar person. Want to go and see who it is. It was a mirror.

悟空，不要变得这么残暴，交给为师，让为师骑马撞死她。

Wukong, don"t be so cruel. Give it to me and let me kill her on horseback.

有人说我丑，我笑了，你是没有见过我的那帮朋友。

Someone said I was ugly. I smiled. You haven"t seen my friends.

最快变成哲学家的是老公，最快变成经济学家的是老婆，最快变成战略家的是丈母娘。

The husband is the fastest to become a philosopher, the wife is the fastest to become an economist, and the mother-in-law is the fastest to become a strategist.

如果你嫌我脾气大的话 那你去找个漏气的吧。

If you think I"m grumpy, find someone who leaks.

锄禾日当午，啥都不靠谱。闲来没事做，不如斗地主。

Weeding day at noon, nothing depends on PU. It"s better to fight the landlord than to have nothing to do.

昨天去市里参加放鸽子比赛，结果就我一个人去了。

Yesterday I went to the city to take part in the pigeon race. As a result, I went alone.

很多人不喜欢朝九晚五的生活，然后开始创业。最终，他的生活变成了朝五晚九。

Many people don"t like the nine to five life and start a business. Eventually, his life became five to nine.

岁月是把杀猪刀，但是我不怕，因为我长得已经够丑了，杀猪刀又能奈我何，刀不坏就是好事了。

Years are a pig killing knife, but I"m not afraid, because I"m ugly enough. What can a pig killing knife do to me? It"s a good thing if the knife is not bad.

小时候最讨厌吃饭和睡觉，现在饭也不够吃觉也不够睡。

When I was a child, I hated eating and sleeping. Now I don"t have enough food and sleep.

女：现在的科技实在是发达，都出眨眼支付功能。男：那功能对你没用。女：为啥没用啊？男：你花钱眨过眼睛吗？

Woman: now the science and technology is really developed. They all have the blink of an eye payment function. Man: that function is useless to you. Woman: why is it useless? Man: have you ever spent money blinking?

每次搞活动，商场里你们最想打折的是什么？”“女朋友的腿。”

What do you most want to discount in the mall every time you have an event? "“ Girlfriend"s legs. "

往往是那些街边不起眼的店铺，才能做出真正的美味。而那些富丽堂皇的大饭店，我没吃过。

It is often those humble shops on the street that can make real delicious food. I haven"t eaten those magnificent hotels.

辛苦减肥一个月跑步、爬山，效果很是明显，我果然从一个胖子，变成了一个……黑胖子！

After a month of hard weight loss, running and mountain climbing, the effect is very obvious. I really changed from a fat man to a…… Black fat man!

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